Looking at the Frames

The mall tends to bore me.  I rarely go, so at least there is usually something novel when I do.  I will admit that malls usually do have a pleasant atmosphere.  However I do not feel the sense of community with the aggregate of consumers surrounding me, as some seem to.  Shopping for me is not so much a social outing as a militaristic mission.  Whether it is food, clothes, or an item from a specific store, I like to determine what I need, formulate a plan to get it, execute the plan, and get out.  Perhaps this mindset deprives me of the joy so many people find in shopping, but it seems to work for me.  I have a hard time "just looking" most of the time.  Unless there is something I am already interested in, and am actively searching for, I feel like I am wasting my time.

I have never people watched as many seem fond of doing.  It has always seemed almost a rude prying into other's lives.  If I can find a nice place to sit, and have nowhere to go, I can close my eyes and let the hubbub around me to slur together into a meaningless bubbling. In this moment I can find peace, but it does not last.  The peace does not last when I am surrounded by people I do not know, in a place I do not know.  My mind keeps spiking and telling me I should be aware.  This is not to say that going to the mall is an overly traumatizing event.  But whenever I am there I cannot fully relax, it is like a small itch that does not go away until I leave.  I  am not sure what makes me feel this way.  Maybe the pseudo-religious atmosphere bothers me as the tries to become more than it should be.

I did not buy anything when I went to the mall. This was mainly due to the fact that I didn't need anything.  I noticed the brands trying to draw me into a "relationship" with them through their fancy slogans, art in the stores and even those working there trying to make me feel welcome.  I also noticed that when I realized what they were doing, it broke the spell.  It made it appear to be the thin veneer that it was. Although I was disoriented by their schemes of design and advertising, their reorientations did not capture my imagination like they planned.  I realize that I have been caught up in it before, and bought things I don't need or even necessarily want.  However when you enter that place with a light, planning on seeing just what is going on, it not nearly as easy to be fooled.